Seasonal Product Reviews

Snowblowers: how to clear snow without freezing your tail off

by SIR WILLIAM | Syndicated Columnist

In Meowsborough today, the weather outside is truly frightful, bringing out the scaredy cat in the best of us.  While I enjoy watching flurries from cozy windowsills, I detest shoveling wet and heavy snow during snowstorms.  But it must be done, which brings me to today’s product review: snowblowers!

For my snow removal needs, I tried three powerful machines: The Whisker 185, The Claw 2.0, and The TurboZoomie 360.

❄️The Whisker 185 offers a high-speed impeller to clear away your wintery mix.  You push this baby around like a lawn mower, which does take some man-kitty effort.  Despite the heavy-tread tires, you must hold onto the handle assembly with both paws over icy snow.  For protection from noise and cold, you should wear quality earmuffs over your pinna.  That said, it does have power steering, and it churns through frozen or wet snow.  It gets the job done, and curious kittens in the neighborhood gawk at how far the machine throws the snow.  The sticker price is ^-^1200.00 in MeowCoin, which is an affordable option if you don’t mind pushing a machine through the snow.

❄️The Claw 2.0 is a remarkable machine that I operated with ease.  It is a self-propelled, walk-behind snow blower with power-steering and a lightweight but durable frame.  It sports a powerful engine and robust two-stage augers, which claw through deep, packed, icy, and slushy snow.  The impeller threw the snow across the lawn at such velocity that it knocked over the kittens.  I laughed my fuzzy butt off, but after checking on the kittens, Cocoa Bean yowled at me for hours.  It does have electric starting, which I honestly dislike, because I love the pull start on my lawn mower; I pull out the string then chase it back towards the machine, reaching it before the gas motor roars to life.  But the heated paw grips on the handle assembly are a nice touch.  I want one right meow, even though finding the foreign parts for routine service can be tricky.  The sticker price is ^-^1800.00 in MeowCoin.

❄️The TurboZoomie 360 is the best option if you already own a tractor.  You simply buy the snow blower attachment and the all-weather enclosure for a comfortable, efficient, snow-clearing experience.  The enclosure includes a collapsible cup-holder for large tumblers; I enjoyed a warm and hearty salmon-slurry while clearing the entire driveway.  And I didn’t get a single icicle stuck to my whiskers.  Despite being a mere attachment, The TurboZoomie 360 is even more powerful than The Claw 2.0.  Known for its performance and durability, it clears deep snow in snow drifts.  The augers’ speed maximizes the impeller’s throwing velocity.  (I highly recommend telling kittens to go back inside with their mama-cat!)  The TurboZoomie 350 does come with sticker shock.  It costs ^-^3600.00 in MeowCoin.  But the price is worth it, and you might find it on sale at The Clowder Depot.  I’d buy it in a pounce if I owned a tractor!

Any of these three snowblowers should meet your snow clearing needs. ☃️